Ben Hsu

Dubious Company · Fantasy · Script

Dubious Company Scripts 14-20

Comic 14:  Pirbot and Catstello

After giving up with the whole “Keelhaul” definition Tiren throws the book she was holding away (or over her shoulder) and tries to get any other useful bit of information.

Tiren(Throwing book away): Whatever, let’s just get moving on…um…what’s the name of the ship?

Walter(Confidently): Arrr.

Tiren(Slightly confused, but rolling with it): Yeah Arrr to you too.  But the name of the ship is…?

Walter(Slightly Annoyed): Arrr!

Tiren(Also annoyed):  The name of the airship!  What is it?!

Walter(Actually Angry): ARRR!

Tiren(Also angry, and about to beat Walter):  The flying boat we’re on!  What do you call it?!

Walter(Yelling back at Tiren): Ya got wax in them oversized ears?  The ship be called ARRR!!

Comic 15:  The World Ends in an Oops

Tiren is sent down to the bowels of the ship to help with some maintenance.  Which is honestly Walter‘s first mistake.  Tiren spends several minutes staring at the overtly complex flight spell generator.

Tiren(Mumbling angrily to herself as she stares at the flight spell generator): Stupid pirate, never does anything himself, move this, fight that, check the flight spell generator.

She spends several very confused minutes staring at the flight spell generator trying to figure out what’s what, and generally making, “hmmm” “ummm” and “eerrrr” noises.  Finally she hesitantly reaches out and presses a button.

Shot of Tiren and Walter standing on a beach watching the ship burn up in the ocean.

Tiren(accusing Walter): I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but I’m sure this is your fault.

Walter: Arrrr…same ta you lass…

Comic 16: Yoink-Bap!

In light of the recent tragedy involving the ship Tiren and Walter resort to the only thing that makes sense: yelling at each other.

Walter(Clearly pissed an yelling): Whadja do?  Ya were suppose ta just check some numbers!

Tiren(yelling back): Me?!  You’re the one running me ragged!  Maybe if you did something yourself we wouldn’t be in this mess!

Walter(Tense, softer spoken anger.  Waving his cutlass in front of Tiren): Watch yer tone.  I’ve still got me cutlass!

Tiren grabs the cutlass out of his hand and smacks him with it.

Comic 17: Secrets Reveled

Tiren proceeds to beat Walter senseless only pausing when he finally lets his accent slip.  Then she gets pissed and redoubles her efforts.

Walter(In various stages of pain): Ow!  Ow!  Stop hitt’n me!

Walter(In greater stages of pain): Aaagh!  Ow!  Stop it!

Walter(Actually trying to make a cohesive plea): Look, look, I’m sorry, okay?  Just stop hitting me!

Tiren(Slow realization dawning on her, coupled with anger, lots of anger): That’s…You’re pirate accent is fake isn’t it?

Walter(sheepish and embarrassed): Umm…err…yes?

Tiren redoubles her efforts into beating poor Walter.

Walter(now in a great deal of pain): Aaaahh! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!

Comic 18: A Land Divided

Walter manages to halt Tiren’s merciless beating long enough for them to continue arguing.

Walter(pleading while still being hit by Tiren): Stop hitting me!  Stop hitting me!  We need to work together!  We need to work together!

Tiren(calming down enough to stop hitting Walter, but still horribly pissed off): Wha?  I’m not gonna work with you!  We’re stranded because of you remember!?

Tiren(drawing a line in the sand): You know what?  I’m dividing the island!  Stay on your half.  Or else!

Walter(Getting Angry at Tiren): Yer being absurd!  We’ve-

Walter is cut off as Tiren begins beating him again.

Walter(pleading with Tiren again): Ow ow!  Stop it!  Stay behind the line!  Stay behind the line!

Comic 19: Varied Situations

Tiren stomps off to crave out a living on her half the island and Walter is left to his own devices.  So, mostly have a montage of Walter scouting around his section of the tropical paradise, savaging bits of the ship that have washed ashore, and building a neat and cozy shelter with his super engineering skills.

Walter(Lounging around in his house, slightly worried): I wonder if she’s okay.

Walter(Assuring himself): Yeah, she’s a tough girl, I’m sure she’s fine.

Contrary to  Walter’s belief, Tiren is actually cold and alone in a dark dank cave, shivering pitifully.

Comic 20: Coconuts, It Had to be Coconuts.

Walter staring up at a series of coconuts, drooling slightly.

Walter(Stomach rumbling with hunger): Mmmm…food.

A montage of Walter trying to get at the fruit.  He does things like jumping to reach them, poking them with his cutlass, throwing rocks at them, failing to climb the tree, failing to knock the tree down, just…gnawing at the tree (you don’t have use all of these, they’re just ideas).  Finally he gives up in dejection.  But then he has an idea!

End with Walter and his shirt off, wings unfolded in all their glory, holding an armful of coconuts.

Walter(reminding himself of his idiocy): Right, the wings, gotta remember the wings…

Dubious Company · Fantasy · Script

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